A-M in the P.M.

It occurred to me that it's been way too long since I posted a picture of Ann-Margret. Glorious, just glorious! *sighs* <-- crush

What to do, do you think?

I wonder if I should upgrade to the Betablog mode for this one? Or should I stay low-tech? Hmm. I like the asterisk, so if I couldn't keep it, I wouldn't go for it, you know?

Today's a Roxy Music and Suede kind of day, I think. Something to complement and counter the everlasting gray of the day.

I've got 11 short stories out with magazines and journals. Something should click, don't you think? I'm trying to get one short story out a week.

Trainy Tuesdaze

Music: Ladytron, "Playgirl"

I'm not in a good mood today. I'm feeling kinda antisocial -- a combination of lonely and pissed off, lovelies. The real world cloys, the unreal world annoys. What's a 21st-century lonely boy supposed to do? Retreat into writing with eyes that see too much, pen scribbling words to the page, fingers dance to keyboard clacks, weaving worlds from nothingness, or at least from the dark, wet matter in between my ears. Much the same, in the end: out of sight, out of mind.

Writers are not happy people. If we were happy, we would not write. Writing is a solace, sanctuary, and shelter. Not a prison, not a punishment -- the punishment is being a writer, the loneliest profession -- the writing itself is a drug, a joy, a release. But a solitary thing, because even the intimacy of the reader, the distant visitor to your words, they bring themselves to it, meet you less than halfway, see things in the words that you never imagined. It's its own kind of magic, I know. I love when people draw meaning from text I've written that I didn't even see there. It just doesn't alleviate the loneliness of it, though -- writing is nothing until it gets published. Until that happens, it's litter of the soul, festering, piling up, pointless, communicating nothing to nobody -- like uncast incantations.

And here's the rub: I can't live without writing. I'd die if I couldn't write. And so I write. This blog is just a distraction, a little steam valve where I diddle about, now and then. My heart is on the page, in my real work, my vocation. And not even other writers can really relate to the intimacy of the page -- each has their own relationship with the word, some functional, some dysfunctional -- but singular and unique as anybody else. Their own battles to wage, wars to fight with the written page.

No comfort, no relief. Just more words. Beautiful words. I love words, the way I can weave them into beautiful shapes and textures, accessing part of my brain I don't even consciously know; I write faster than I can think. If I have to think, I know I'm in a rut, doing something wrong. The words just come. My only real friends, the only ones that understand me, that never let me down.

Loneliest profession, drowning joyfully in a sea of words. Don't wait for me; I'm going right for the bottom, not even holding my breath.

Movie of My So-Called Life (?)

From Kristen, ala Vesper's Escape...

The rules:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie.

Waking Up?
"Life Stinks" by Pere Ubu

First Day At School?
"Society" by the Subhumans (UK)

Playtime/Childhood?
"Flaming Telepaths" by Blue Oyster Cult

Falling In Love?
"Hot Toddy" by Julie London (Hmmm.)

Fight Song?
"All On Black" by Alkaline Trio (that works, actually)

Breaking Up?
"Wardance" by Killing Joke (why not?)

Prom?
"God" by Hammerbox (heh -- more fun than my senior prom, for sure)

Life's OK?
"Pyjamarama" by Roxy Music (one of my faves -- lucky!)

Mental Breakdown?
"Aloha Steve & Danno" by Radio Birdman (kinda not right, but I'm rolling with it, memewise, as with all of these)

Driving?
"Shrunken Heads" by Ghost Dance (Ehhh, not so much of a fit, there, but so what?)

Flashback?
"Salad Days" by Minor Threat (perfect!!)

Getting Back Together?
"Inside Out" by the Outpatients

Wedding?
"Where Diamonds are Halos" by Sugar (I love that song; that would make for a rockin' wedding)

Birth of Child?
"That's the Way" by Led Zeppelin (aww, that's nice!)

Final Battle?
"When I Win the Lottery" by Camper Van Beethoven (hahah -- kinda right)

Death Scene?
"Lexicon Devil" by the Germs (hahah -- also kinda right)

Funeral Song?
"Softness" by Dorothy (hahah -- groovy funeral; everybody'd be dancing, lovelies -- I'd put the FUN in funeral!)

End Credits?
"Recollections" by the Proletariat (Cool! I like it! Perfect for the credits!)

Well, that was sure random. Hopefully lovelies know some of these songs! Otherwise, if you want the soundtrack of my life, circa 2006, I'll burn it for you and send it!

I don't know

Ever wonder what would happen if you only talked to the real-world people you actually liked, and didn't talk to the ones you didn't like? I think about that sometimes. Not like I need to talk to people in my normal workday so much -- that's one of the benefits (?) of editorial work -- but even then, if I curtailed it to the people I actually liked, I'd talk to maybe three people on my job. That's out of something like ~330 people in our building. Does that make me antisocial, or just picky? It's kind of like why talk to people you don't like, if you don't have to?

Just something that occurred to me today, while talking to somebody I didn't particularly like.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I made a chocolate bundt cake tonight, and, once again, used some Nutella as the frosting. It's so wickedly good, poppets.

Today found me trying to write and handling chores, taking many pix of the boys. Here's one of my faves from this morning...

We were both laughing. The light's so orange and red because the morning sun was shining through.

Friday the 13th

Music: Sweet, "Solid Gold Brass"

Happy Friday the 13th! Woo hoo! Here's a meme I yoinked from Kristen, b/c she always has the best memes, and I'm all about the meme-age...

1. Would you get back with your last ex if you could?
Nah. She was nice, but we just weren't right for each other.

2. What color shirt are you wearing?
Light blue with patterns.

3. How many people have you REALLY kissed on your top friends list?
Huh? If MySpace, then none. I'd kiss four if I were able, and one if I could only choose one. They probably know who they are.

4. Do you have a 'thing' for someone on your friends list?
I don't have a proper friends list; my friends know who they are. If we're talking MySpace, then nobody.

5. How many people on your top friends list do you know in real life?
None! I had the chance to meet one, but passed because I got shy. I sometimes think I should meet Ames, but I'm so shy (though outgoing, too -- odd mix, eh?)

6. How many kids do you want to have?
I've got two boys. A girl would be nice, but I think two boys'll be it. They're wonderful.

7. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Kinda not so good, in a way. My folks make me sad. They're not good people -- not evil, but like not good.

8. What name would you want besides the one you have?
Knight.

9. Would you ever make out with someone?
What do you mean, "would"?? Have, would, will -- hell, yeah.

10. What did you do for your last birthday?
I can't even remember. How sad is that? My birthdays usually suck.

11. What's your main ringtone on your phone?
I assume this is s'posed to be cellphone-related? I haven't got a cellphone.

12. What time did you wake up today?
5:00 a.m. No alarm clock, either. I just wake up.

13. What were you doing Thursday evening?
Writing.

14. Do you like having your hair pulled?
Nope. My stepdad used to do that in lieu of spanking if people were bad. I thought it was psycho then, and still do. I used to have nightmares of him swinging me over his head by my hair!

15. Name something you can't wait to do.
Be a bestselling novelist.

16. Last time you saw your mom.
Last winter.

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
Hmmm. I'd want to look like Jude Law. That'd be cool (except keep my hair, because I have better hair).

18. If you had $250,000, what would you do with it?
Invest most of it, buy my five favorite electric guitars and a 600-watt amp.

19. how long have you worked at your current job?
Over six years. I'm definitely looking to move on in the worst way.

20. Have you ever talked to Tom?
Yes. One of my oldest buddies. He's in Cambodia now, eating fried spiders. He's a good guy.

21.Describe the underwear you have on?
Blue plaid. Cotton. Comfy. Boxers.

22. Last thing you ate?
Chocolate-covered raisins.

23. What's your favorite month?
October, because it has Halloween, and I LOVE Halloween.

24. Your least favorite month?
March. It goes on forever.

25. What's the last piece of clothing someone borrowed from you?
Sweatshirt. Spouse always borrows my Northwestern University sweatshirt. She's always taking it. I didn't go to NU, btw -- I just worked there in the 90s, and coworkers got one for me as a going-away present.

26. Who is getting on your nerves right now?
The Republican Party, and the people who vote for them and support them even as they rape our country and pillage the future of it.

27. Most visited webpage?
Google. YouTube. Salon. Probably a three-way tie, there.

28. Last person you text messaged?
I don't text-message. No cellphone. I'm old-school, my dears.

29. Last person to make you sad?
My Muse. She's so great.

30. Would you take a bullet for your best friend?
I'd take a bullet for anybody who needed it, if they were a good person.

31. Favorite kind of drink?
Cold.

32. Favorite food?
Pizza.

33. Favorite dessert?
Cake.

34. Have you been to Europe?
No, I haven't. I'd like to, someday.

35. If someone you hated died, what would you do?
I don't hate anybody. Life's too short to be wasted on hate.

Whackolantern

Howdy, lovelies

I don't know if anybody still bothers reading this! I haven't been very entertaining of late, and for that, I'm sorry!

I've been watching some of the baseball postseason; almost despite myself, I'm kind of rooting for the Detroit Tigers in the AL, and the NY Mets in the NL pennant races. They're both underdog teams.

Not feeling 100%, which kinda sucks.

What also sucks is that they split the finale to Project Runway into two parts, and I have to wait yet another week for the actual finale. Bastards!

I've resisted the urge to upgrade this blog to the Betablog option. It has nice features, but it's more glitzy than this one deserves.

Working on a new short story, kinda excited about it. I hope I can make it work the way I want.

Carved a jack o' lantern for my older son -- was about the hardest-to-carve pumpkin I've ever encountered. I dunno what its problem was, but it put up a mighty fight. Maybe I'll photograph it. My older boy is all excited about Halloween's approach -- we're going to have him be an astronaut, and my younger son can be an alien. They'll look cute together, as they always do.

My younger boy is free-standing, now -- every time he does, he applauds, which is adorable to see. Big grin and clapping, very happy. He's quite the climber, too.

Supposedly there's a chance of flurries tomorrow. Flurries?!? Wha??

Deconstructing Potter

From SLATE, an amusing takedown of Harry Potter.

Sleep Debt

Insufficient sleep over the past several days. Stop.

Older child battling cold. Stop.

Younger child teething. Stop.

Don't know how much longer I can go without decent sleep. Stop.

Sleep is for suckers, lovelies! Stop.

No, it's not. Stop.

I'm frickin' tired. Stop.

Talk to you soon. Stop.

Puddin'head Jones

I had my own chain of bad luck recently, revolving around an American Express card...

1) Post Office failed to deliver a credit card statement (that's the second time that's happened -- not for that card, but another one, along with car insurance -- gotta love the USPS in Chicagoland);

2) Wifey had recently rung up a big bill on the missing American Express card (I only use it when we go to Costco);

3) Though we share an account, our cards have slightly different numbers, which is kind of a safeguard, I guess, but adds to confusion, namely;

4) While checking the balance, she paid it over the phone, and asked me to check the balance on my card, to be sure we were squared with Amex -- so, I checked, and the numbers didn't balance, which freaked Wifey out (and, by extension, me);

5) I took my card out of my wallet and kept it in a basket on our kitchen counter, to deal with later, to reconcile the account;

6) Turned out that everything was fine -- there was just lag-time between their online record and the phone record;

7) When I went to put my card back in my wallet, I found it GONE -- I had to leave home without it;

8) I've looked everywhere, and can't find the damned card -- my operating theory is that my older son might've seen it in the basket and snatched it to play with or something. When I asked him about it, he said he hadn't seen it -- I combed through his room and through our apartment, but no dice;

9) So, because of the initial confusion caused by the USPS's failure to deliver our statement, I managed to actually lose my Amex card -- I have no clue where it is!

I'm going to call them this weekend, have them send me a replacement card -- hopefully that won't cause still more confusion. Grrrr.

Confession

Lovelies: I made a chocolate cake, and, finding no frosting in the cupboard, I used Nutella instead. It was really good! Just a thin layer of it. Yummers. I'd do it again!

Music: the Libertines, "Arbeit Macht Frei"

Wow.

Chicago was deluged yesterday -- serious autumn storms bashed the hell out of the city, uprooted (or broke) tons of trees of all sizes, flooded viaducts, etc. Really something else. In the 90s, it rarely got this bad, stormwise. I wish I'd thought to bring my digital camera to capture some of the shots I saw. As always, I neglect to bring it when I should. Whoopsie!

So, I finished the book I was working on, and now it's revision time, which doesn't take as long (five months) as it did to write the book. The hard part, of course, is getting an agent interested in it, natch. I'm just glad to be done with it, free to write some shorter stuff again. That's the joy of writing -- more writing! Hahah! :)

Music: Hüsker Dü, "Sheena is a Punk Rocker"