Radiohead
"No Surprises"
A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please
Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises please (let me out of here)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
40 Things
I'm going through meme-withdrawal, so I'll post a lame one, just to get me a step nearer to the magic 300, when I mothball this blog and migrate to my main one.
40 things
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Had my pet euthanized.
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Hmm. I kinda didn't do any resolutions, or if I did, I forgot'em.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My half sister had another child.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Jinx, my cat. February 9th. Poor kitty.
5. What countries did you visit?
I've only visited Canada, and that was in 1989 (although I did kayak into Canada in 1999, but didn't set foot on land)! I'm way, way behind on the world-traveling thing. I want to, but need the time and money for it.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Book deal!
7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory?
No dates come to mind. I'm terrible at remembering dates.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a short story accepted by a magazine at the beginning of 2006.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not finding another job!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Hmmm. Nothing chronic. Oh, wait -- I totally wiped out rollerblading last year and fragged my left calf. I still have a scar from that injury, which went from my ankle to my knee. I'll probably have that scar the rest of my life.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Best thing I bought...probably the memory card for my digital camera! 175 pictures can now be saved on that stinker! That's great!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. I was very industrious last year.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine. I was also terribly undisciplined.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. God, how I hate paying rent.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A book I wrote in November. That really pumped me up.
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2006?
Elliott Smith, "Don't Go Down"
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Happier!
Thinner or fatter? Thinner!
Richer or poorer? Richer!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Gosh, I dunno. I'm not big on regret.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Less brooding, perhaps.
20. How will you be spending Easter?
Eating a dark chocolate bunny's head.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
You know, I so rarely use the phone, anymore, except to talk to my parents, so I guess it's them, by default. I much more frequently e-mail.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes!
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None!
24. What was your favorite TV program?
In 2006? "Invasion" -- that was a great show, which was why it got cancelled, of course.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Lame as it sounds, I don't waste time on hate. There are people I don't like, sure, but I mostly just deprive them of the joy of knowing me, versus actually hating them, you know?
26. What was the best book(s) you read?
God, I don't even remember. I don't think I read a whole book in 2006! Before you think I'm the Antichrist, let me explain: as an editor, I read every day, almost all day. Not for fun, of course. Anyway, it sort of makes pleasure reading a rarer thing. Ironic, eh?
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
New bands? Hmmm. Interfuse were pretty good.
Old bands? The Victims (US).
28. What did you want and get?
I never get what I want! Seriously, anything I ask for, I never get. It's like a curse of some sort. I could ask for socks and never get them!
29. What did you want and not get?
Everything!
30. What were your favorite films of this year?
It's been forever since I've seen a movie on the big screen. I really liked the unrated version of "The Descent" -- thought it was a good horror movie.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 36 last year; I didn't do anything special. Birthday kinda sucked, really.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Book deal!! Book deal!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Classical Menswear with a neo-psychedelic twist.
34. What kept you sane?
My madness kept me sane! Knowledge of your own insanity protects you from it. The truly crazy think that they're sane.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Currently? I'm so terrible about thinking of one on the spot. I know them when I see them. Man, I need to think about it some.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Last year? Probably those jackasses leaving New Orleans to drown. That was terrible, unforgiveable. I visited New Orleans in 1997, and hate that government negligence and incompetence destroyed that beautiful place.
37. Who did you miss?
My best friend!
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Ash, for sure. She's the best!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Don't waste time on regret. Just live in the now, and get things done.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
"I met a girl snowball in Hell
She was hard and as cracked as the Liberty Bell
And I got her to
Come and move in with me
And I said I'll find a better place
Where we can spend eternity" (Elliott Smith, "Don't Go Down")
40 things
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Had my pet euthanized.
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Hmm. I kinda didn't do any resolutions, or if I did, I forgot'em.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My half sister had another child.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Jinx, my cat. February 9th. Poor kitty.
5. What countries did you visit?
I've only visited Canada, and that was in 1989 (although I did kayak into Canada in 1999, but didn't set foot on land)! I'm way, way behind on the world-traveling thing. I want to, but need the time and money for it.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Book deal!
7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory?
No dates come to mind. I'm terrible at remembering dates.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a short story accepted by a magazine at the beginning of 2006.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not finding another job!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Hmmm. Nothing chronic. Oh, wait -- I totally wiped out rollerblading last year and fragged my left calf. I still have a scar from that injury, which went from my ankle to my knee. I'll probably have that scar the rest of my life.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Best thing I bought...probably the memory card for my digital camera! 175 pictures can now be saved on that stinker! That's great!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. I was very industrious last year.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine. I was also terribly undisciplined.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. God, how I hate paying rent.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A book I wrote in November. That really pumped me up.
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2006?
Elliott Smith, "Don't Go Down"
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Happier!
Thinner or fatter? Thinner!
Richer or poorer? Richer!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Gosh, I dunno. I'm not big on regret.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Less brooding, perhaps.
20. How will you be spending Easter?
Eating a dark chocolate bunny's head.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
You know, I so rarely use the phone, anymore, except to talk to my parents, so I guess it's them, by default. I much more frequently e-mail.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes!
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None!
24. What was your favorite TV program?
In 2006? "Invasion" -- that was a great show, which was why it got cancelled, of course.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Lame as it sounds, I don't waste time on hate. There are people I don't like, sure, but I mostly just deprive them of the joy of knowing me, versus actually hating them, you know?
26. What was the best book(s) you read?
God, I don't even remember. I don't think I read a whole book in 2006! Before you think I'm the Antichrist, let me explain: as an editor, I read every day, almost all day. Not for fun, of course. Anyway, it sort of makes pleasure reading a rarer thing. Ironic, eh?
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
New bands? Hmmm. Interfuse were pretty good.
Old bands? The Victims (US).
28. What did you want and get?
I never get what I want! Seriously, anything I ask for, I never get. It's like a curse of some sort. I could ask for socks and never get them!
29. What did you want and not get?
Everything!
30. What were your favorite films of this year?
It's been forever since I've seen a movie on the big screen. I really liked the unrated version of "The Descent" -- thought it was a good horror movie.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 36 last year; I didn't do anything special. Birthday kinda sucked, really.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Book deal!! Book deal!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Classical Menswear with a neo-psychedelic twist.
34. What kept you sane?
My madness kept me sane! Knowledge of your own insanity protects you from it. The truly crazy think that they're sane.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Currently? I'm so terrible about thinking of one on the spot. I know them when I see them. Man, I need to think about it some.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Last year? Probably those jackasses leaving New Orleans to drown. That was terrible, unforgiveable. I visited New Orleans in 1997, and hate that government negligence and incompetence destroyed that beautiful place.
37. Who did you miss?
My best friend!
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Ash, for sure. She's the best!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Don't waste time on regret. Just live in the now, and get things done.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
"I met a girl snowball in Hell
She was hard and as cracked as the Liberty Bell
And I got her to
Come and move in with me
And I said I'll find a better place
Where we can spend eternity" (Elliott Smith, "Don't Go Down")
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Years Gone By
----------------10 years ago----------------------
1.) How old were you? 26.
2.) Where did you go to school? I wasn't in school then.
3.) Where did you work? Northwestern University.
4.) Where did you live? Chicago.
5.) Where did you hang out? Bookstores, mostly; some bars to see bands.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yup.
7.) Who was your best friend? Wife. Chris.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? None.
9.) How many piercings did you have? None.
10.) What car did you drive? Didn't have a car.
11.) Had you been to a real party? Yes.
12.) Had your heart broken? Yes, but not back then; way before.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced: Married.
----------------5 years ago----------------------
1.) How old were you? 31.
2.) Where did you go to school? Wasn't in school.
3.) Where did you work? Undisclosed major university.
4.) Where did you live? Michigan City, Indiana.
5.) Where did you hang out? At home, mostly.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yes.
7.) Who were your best friends? Wife. Chris. Denise.
8.) Who was your crush? I have way too many crushes to remember.
9.) How many tattoos did you have? None.
10.) How many piercings did you have? None.
11) What car did you drive? Ford Escort Wagon.
12.) Had you had your heart broken? Nope.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Married.
14.) Any kids? The next year.
----------------Feb. 2007----------------------
1.) How old are you? 36.
2.) Where do you work? Undisclosed major university.
3.) Where do you live? Lincoln Park neighborhood (Chicago).
4.) Do you wear glasses? Yes.
5.) Who are your best friends? Wife. Denise. Chris. Ash.
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? Yes.
7.) How many piercings do you have? None!
8.) How many tattoos? None!!!
9.) What kind of car do you have? Ford Escort Wagon (same one).
10.) Has your heart been broken? Not this year.
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Married.
12.) Who's your crush? Way too many crushes to indicate here.
13.) Any kids? Two boys.
1.) How old were you? 26.
2.) Where did you go to school? I wasn't in school then.
3.) Where did you work? Northwestern University.
4.) Where did you live? Chicago.
5.) Where did you hang out? Bookstores, mostly; some bars to see bands.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yup.
7.) Who was your best friend? Wife. Chris.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? None.
9.) How many piercings did you have? None.
10.) What car did you drive? Didn't have a car.
11.) Had you been to a real party? Yes.
12.) Had your heart broken? Yes, but not back then; way before.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced: Married.
----------------5 years ago----------------------
1.) How old were you? 31.
2.) Where did you go to school? Wasn't in school.
3.) Where did you work? Undisclosed major university.
4.) Where did you live? Michigan City, Indiana.
5.) Where did you hang out? At home, mostly.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yes.
7.) Who were your best friends? Wife. Chris. Denise.
8.) Who was your crush? I have way too many crushes to remember.
9.) How many tattoos did you have? None.
10.) How many piercings did you have? None.
11) What car did you drive? Ford Escort Wagon.
12.) Had you had your heart broken? Nope.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Married.
14.) Any kids? The next year.
----------------Feb. 2007----------------------
1.) How old are you? 36.
2.) Where do you work? Undisclosed major university.
3.) Where do you live? Lincoln Park neighborhood (Chicago).
4.) Do you wear glasses? Yes.
5.) Who are your best friends? Wife. Denise. Chris. Ash.
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? Yes.
7.) How many piercings do you have? None!
8.) How many tattoos? None!!!
9.) What kind of car do you have? Ford Escort Wagon (same one).
10.) Has your heart been broken? Not this year.
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Married.
12.) Who's your crush? Way too many crushes to indicate here.
13.) Any kids? Two boys.
Leave Me Be
The Zombies, "Leave Me Be"
If it seems that I'm too quiet, that's 'cause I'm missin' her
My mind tells me I have to fight, but I can't help missin' her
CHORUS:
You'd better leave me alone, you'd better leave me alone
Until I can think about her without feelin' sorry for myself
You'd better leave me be till I don't need her anymore
I don't wanna see her again until I'm sure I'm over her
But still feeling tired & wanting is not like I thought it would be
Love just cannot end at parting; my world's dropped from under me
If it seems that I'm too quiet, that's 'cause I'm missin' her
My mind tells me I have to fight, but I can't help missin' her
CHORUS:
You'd better leave me alone, you'd better leave me alone
Until I can think about her without feelin' sorry for myself
You'd better leave me be till I don't need her anymore
I don't wanna see her again until I'm sure I'm over her
But still feeling tired & wanting is not like I thought it would be
Love just cannot end at parting; my world's dropped from under me
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Descent is Decent
I liked "The Descent" (2005) -- I watched the unrated version on DVD. It's a pretty decent horror flick. I liked the all-female cast of main characters. That was a good touch, and I think they handled themselves well, given the genre. It was well-shot. The cave scenes were really claustrophobia-inducing. I'm not claustrophobic, but those cave sequences made me feel that way.
Good stuff, made me jump. Definitely get the unrated version, if you're going to watch it -- it has the original ending, versus the "happy" ending they used for American audiences. You know Americans and our happy endings!
Good stuff, made me jump. Definitely get the unrated version, if you're going to watch it -- it has the original ending, versus the "happy" ending they used for American audiences. You know Americans and our happy endings!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Then again
I'm only six posts short of 300 on this, so maybe once I reach 300, then I'll mothball this one.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Hurm
Wow, this blog's dying by inches (or centimeters, if you're metrically-inclined). Either everybody's lurking, or nobody's coming around anymore. Not that I blame you. I've been boring myself, too!
I made this one a sanctuary from some human flotsam that was dogging me on some earlier blogs, and in that respect, this place has remained flotsam-free. But also, it's always been a kind of secret satellite around my main blog, which is linked to my profile, if you'd like to drop by where things are generally more active.
So, I'll mothball this blog for the time being, and focus on the other one. The only thing I'd ask if you turn up at the core blog is that you don't refer to this blog there, because there are still some toxic lurkers on that one, and I wouldn't want them to be able to backtrack to this one.
Not like it's a big problem; if they did turn up here, I'd just delete this blog and be done with it. The reason I haven't fragged my latest core blog is because I'd torched two earlier blogs before creating this one as a refuge -- and I decided I didn't want to keep nuking blogs just because of some psycho stalkers.
Anyway, thanks for your time and attention here, whoever you are! Just click on the blog on my profile and you'll see me again.
Otherwise, nothing's cooking here until further notice.
I made this one a sanctuary from some human flotsam that was dogging me on some earlier blogs, and in that respect, this place has remained flotsam-free. But also, it's always been a kind of secret satellite around my main blog, which is linked to my profile, if you'd like to drop by where things are generally more active.
So, I'll mothball this blog for the time being, and focus on the other one. The only thing I'd ask if you turn up at the core blog is that you don't refer to this blog there, because there are still some toxic lurkers on that one, and I wouldn't want them to be able to backtrack to this one.
Not like it's a big problem; if they did turn up here, I'd just delete this blog and be done with it. The reason I haven't fragged my latest core blog is because I'd torched two earlier blogs before creating this one as a refuge -- and I decided I didn't want to keep nuking blogs just because of some psycho stalkers.
Anyway, thanks for your time and attention here, whoever you are! Just click on the blog on my profile and you'll see me again.
Otherwise, nothing's cooking here until further notice.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Who Are You?
You scored as Keith Moon.
Which member of the Who are you??? created with QuizFarm.com |
Weirdness, cont'd.
Okay, so I already did the six weird things meme, but Kristen reminded me of another one, so I'm adding a seventh weird thing, figuring that a meme about weird things should at least have an odd number to it, instead of an even...
7. I can't stand to have anything between my toes, most especially between my big toe and the rest. Like flip-flops, or a finger, or a sock, or anything. Even the sight of it gives me the willies -- like those otherwise really cool Japanese slippers one sees -- just seeing the big toe isolated like that freaks me out. It's not the same as being ticklish. Like if you popped a finger between my big toe and my other toes, I'd recoil, try to flee. I could probably be tortured that way. The sensation is just horrible to me -- not pain, not even irritation, exactly, just serious discomfort. Any sandals I wear are the kind that go over the toes, not between. *shudder*
7. I can't stand to have anything between my toes, most especially between my big toe and the rest. Like flip-flops, or a finger, or a sock, or anything. Even the sight of it gives me the willies -- like those otherwise really cool Japanese slippers one sees -- just seeing the big toe isolated like that freaks me out. It's not the same as being ticklish. Like if you popped a finger between my big toe and my other toes, I'd recoil, try to flee. I could probably be tortured that way. The sensation is just horrible to me -- not pain, not even irritation, exactly, just serious discomfort. Any sandals I wear are the kind that go over the toes, not between. *shudder*
Hey, there
Hope everybody had a great V-Day.
Wherever you are, keep warm. Chicago got hit with lots of wintery snow t'other day.
I have no fancy plans for the day. Just slack-working, the usual deal.
Here's a great new video from Jarvis Cocker...
"Don't Let Him Waste Your Time"
I think I've ridden with cabbies like that in Chicago!
Wherever you are, keep warm. Chicago got hit with lots of wintery snow t'other day.
I have no fancy plans for the day. Just slack-working, the usual deal.
Here's a great new video from Jarvis Cocker...
"Don't Let Him Waste Your Time"
I think I've ridden with cabbies like that in Chicago!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Snow way!
It's blizzardy out today -- frickin' gusty winds blowing snow every which way. Really nasty.
Definitely a classic Chicagoland winter in effect. If you're east of me, you're going to likely get hit, too, because it's a big storm system. Be ready.
I'm in a better mood today than I was yesterday. That's good.
Definitely a classic Chicagoland winter in effect. If you're east of me, you're going to likely get hit, too, because it's a big storm system. Be ready.
I'm in a better mood today than I was yesterday. That's good.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Enough is Enough?
Music: Love Battery, "Nebraska"
I'm in much better spirits than I was last week, although I went from sad to mad today; kind of in a bad mood, but by comparison, anger is a welcome relief from grief.
People wear me out sometimes. I lead with my heart, if not with my chin, and I think I feel that my exuberance can carry the day in any situation. But it can't. Energy wanes, hopes fade, ambitions dim, regrets pile up like bones on a battlefield. It's frustrating.
At some point, you grow up -- you realize you simply can't have and do everything you want to do; you have to pick and choose. It's a very American kind of conundrum. I want it all. I want it now. I can't have it all -- hell, I can't even have most of it. All I get is some. If I'm very lucky.
I'm very loyal to what friends I have; is there such thing as being too loyal? It's not in my nature to give up on somebody. That, to me, would feel like a betrayal. So I end up in situations where I'm better friends to people than they are to me, and in the position of, what, exactly? Not being friends anymore? Or just tossing my pride by the wayside and being The Good Friend(tm) without expectation of reciprocity?
I have no answer. I'm very much all-or-nothing; I can't be a sorta friend with somebody. If I'm your friend, I stick by you -- to me, that's inherent in my conception of friendship. It's because there's something about you that I consider worthwhile. Maybe there are a lot of things about you. I've never thought about it systematically, like what my cutoff point is.
Perhaps, at heart, it's also a desire to be loved -- also a very American problem. We want everybody to like us, to love us, and when they don't, we get pissed at them, blame them. That's our foreign policy in a nutshell, really.
Then again, how do you really know a friend is your friend? Everything's pinned on trust, I guess. No trust, no friendship. Simple as that.
I don't know how famous actors and other celebrities deal with it. Like, do they rely on family and what friends they had before they got famous? How could you trust a newcomer on the scene, somebody who wanted to befriend you? Could you trust them? Then again, a celebrity would have so much social hand on anybody, probably only another celebrity could hope to be an actual friend to them -- sort of like how fashion models marry rock stars, for example.
If I were famous, I'd probably be reclusive, just because it's hard for me to trust people; I'm a natural critic and I'm usually likely to see the very worst in a situation or in a person (and I'm usually right about them, too, if I've actually studied them), and inclined to be influenced by that view.
In general, I'm open and affable, quick to laugh -- easy for somebody to befriend, at least up to a point. But beyond that point, it's like there's a definite wall I have to broader intimacy. I'm easy to get to know, and hard to understand.
Blah blah blah.
I'm in much better spirits than I was last week, although I went from sad to mad today; kind of in a bad mood, but by comparison, anger is a welcome relief from grief.
People wear me out sometimes. I lead with my heart, if not with my chin, and I think I feel that my exuberance can carry the day in any situation. But it can't. Energy wanes, hopes fade, ambitions dim, regrets pile up like bones on a battlefield. It's frustrating.
At some point, you grow up -- you realize you simply can't have and do everything you want to do; you have to pick and choose. It's a very American kind of conundrum. I want it all. I want it now. I can't have it all -- hell, I can't even have most of it. All I get is some. If I'm very lucky.
I'm very loyal to what friends I have; is there such thing as being too loyal? It's not in my nature to give up on somebody. That, to me, would feel like a betrayal. So I end up in situations where I'm better friends to people than they are to me, and in the position of, what, exactly? Not being friends anymore? Or just tossing my pride by the wayside and being The Good Friend(tm) without expectation of reciprocity?
I have no answer. I'm very much all-or-nothing; I can't be a sorta friend with somebody. If I'm your friend, I stick by you -- to me, that's inherent in my conception of friendship. It's because there's something about you that I consider worthwhile. Maybe there are a lot of things about you. I've never thought about it systematically, like what my cutoff point is.
Perhaps, at heart, it's also a desire to be loved -- also a very American problem. We want everybody to like us, to love us, and when they don't, we get pissed at them, blame them. That's our foreign policy in a nutshell, really.
Then again, how do you really know a friend is your friend? Everything's pinned on trust, I guess. No trust, no friendship. Simple as that.
I don't know how famous actors and other celebrities deal with it. Like, do they rely on family and what friends they had before they got famous? How could you trust a newcomer on the scene, somebody who wanted to befriend you? Could you trust them? Then again, a celebrity would have so much social hand on anybody, probably only another celebrity could hope to be an actual friend to them -- sort of like how fashion models marry rock stars, for example.
If I were famous, I'd probably be reclusive, just because it's hard for me to trust people; I'm a natural critic and I'm usually likely to see the very worst in a situation or in a person (and I'm usually right about them, too, if I've actually studied them), and inclined to be influenced by that view.
In general, I'm open and affable, quick to laugh -- easy for somebody to befriend, at least up to a point. But beyond that point, it's like there's a definite wall I have to broader intimacy. I'm easy to get to know, and hard to understand.
Blah blah blah.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Dearly Departed
I had to take Jinx to the animal hospital to be euthanized. The poor little kitty held on for another night, and it was too sad to see her silently suffering, weakening. She managed a last purr for me last night, as I combed her and tried to make her more comfortable.
The vet said she had acute renal failure, that it was common for cats her age. We figured it was something that, although it certainly didn't make it any easier.
Jinx: 1992-2007.
The vet said she had acute renal failure, that it was common for cats her age. We figured it was something that, although it certainly didn't make it any easier.
Jinx: 1992-2007.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Weirdness
Romina cheered me up (gracias!), and a meme is always a nice distraction, and this is kind of a tough one, requiring thought...
Six weird things about me
1. My thumbs don't bend in the middle; how to explain? I have the joint right after the thumbnail, and then nothing, then it bends where it connects to the hand. You know how people's thumbs hyperextend if too much pressure is applied? Not mine. I have regressive thumbs -- they're more like power grip thumbs, versus precision grip thumbs, which most people have. They do help me carry things and climb better, I find. But such thumbs are what our primate ancestors had, so they're throwback thumbs, not future mutant thumbs.
2. I used to want to be a fighter pilot as a kid; I used to love to fly. Then, in 1997 and 1998, I became totally phobic about flying, and haven't flown since then. I can't really account for it, to be honest. Some kind of existential angst thing, fear of being a passenger, a control issue. I feel like if I were flying on my own, I'd be fine with it; it's the helplessness of being a passenger that gets to me. Same reason rollercoasters have historically made me very uncomfortable.
3. I have texture issues with food -- anything like jello, whipped cream, aspic, anything frothy -- it makes the hair on my arms stand on end; I won't eat it. I'd puke if I had to eat anything goopy like that. I used to not be able to each peaches -- the fuzzy skin would give me the willies. But I got over it at some point, and now I love'em.
4. My brain is like an automatic mood jukebox -- it'll unconsciously come up with a theme-appropriate song that I'll hum or sing or whistle, without actually being aware that it somehow ties into the situation, until I'm doing it and will think *Hey, that relates to what I'm doing right now.* I think it's a left-handed thing, the whole right-brain dominant thing. Unfortunately, I can't think of any examples at the moment, but it happens all the time.
5. Another left-handed thing -- sometimes I'll be at a loss for words, and my brain'll stitch together words to encompass the word I was trying to say to begin with. For example, if the word I wanted was "comb" -- "Could you pass me the comb?" -- what I'd actually say would be "Could you pass me the..uhh..spikey hair stick?" Which is a very right-brained way of interpreting a comb, when you think about it. I do that all the time.
6. I'm very nihilistic, but at the same time, think that life is sacred -- it's like the meaninglessness of the universe to me makes our own existence all the more special, makes love and life and laughter all the more vital. Even though I don't think there's any higher meaning to our lives, and that at some point an asteroid will come and wipe out human life (if we haven't wiped ourselves out first), at the same time, it somehow increases the value of life to me. I extend that to all life -- like if there's a bug in the house, I'll catch it and set it free, versus squishing it. I'm very anti-war and anti-death penalty because of that attitude; anti-poverty for the same reason -- if this is all there is, as I see it, we owe it to ourselves (and to everything living) to make it as good as it can be. The very pointlessness of our existence provides the motive and the meaning for our existence to me, weirdly enough.
Six weird things about me
1. My thumbs don't bend in the middle; how to explain? I have the joint right after the thumbnail, and then nothing, then it bends where it connects to the hand. You know how people's thumbs hyperextend if too much pressure is applied? Not mine. I have regressive thumbs -- they're more like power grip thumbs, versus precision grip thumbs, which most people have. They do help me carry things and climb better, I find. But such thumbs are what our primate ancestors had, so they're throwback thumbs, not future mutant thumbs.
2. I used to want to be a fighter pilot as a kid; I used to love to fly. Then, in 1997 and 1998, I became totally phobic about flying, and haven't flown since then. I can't really account for it, to be honest. Some kind of existential angst thing, fear of being a passenger, a control issue. I feel like if I were flying on my own, I'd be fine with it; it's the helplessness of being a passenger that gets to me. Same reason rollercoasters have historically made me very uncomfortable.
3. I have texture issues with food -- anything like jello, whipped cream, aspic, anything frothy -- it makes the hair on my arms stand on end; I won't eat it. I'd puke if I had to eat anything goopy like that. I used to not be able to each peaches -- the fuzzy skin would give me the willies. But I got over it at some point, and now I love'em.
4. My brain is like an automatic mood jukebox -- it'll unconsciously come up with a theme-appropriate song that I'll hum or sing or whistle, without actually being aware that it somehow ties into the situation, until I'm doing it and will think *Hey, that relates to what I'm doing right now.* I think it's a left-handed thing, the whole right-brain dominant thing. Unfortunately, I can't think of any examples at the moment, but it happens all the time.
5. Another left-handed thing -- sometimes I'll be at a loss for words, and my brain'll stitch together words to encompass the word I was trying to say to begin with. For example, if the word I wanted was "comb" -- "Could you pass me the comb?" -- what I'd actually say would be "Could you pass me the..uhh..spikey hair stick?" Which is a very right-brained way of interpreting a comb, when you think about it. I do that all the time.
6. I'm very nihilistic, but at the same time, think that life is sacred -- it's like the meaninglessness of the universe to me makes our own existence all the more special, makes love and life and laughter all the more vital. Even though I don't think there's any higher meaning to our lives, and that at some point an asteroid will come and wipe out human life (if we haven't wiped ourselves out first), at the same time, it somehow increases the value of life to me. I extend that to all life -- like if there's a bug in the house, I'll catch it and set it free, versus squishing it. I'm very anti-war and anti-death penalty because of that attitude; anti-poverty for the same reason -- if this is all there is, as I see it, we owe it to ourselves (and to everything living) to make it as good as it can be. The very pointlessness of our existence provides the motive and the meaning for our existence to me, weirdly enough.
Jinx
From a couple of years ago; not the best picture I have of her, but the best I could find at the moment.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Hey...
Does anybody still read this blog? There have to be a few lurkers out there, right? Not that it's been very interesting at the moment, I'll admit.
My cat, Jinx, is dying. I think she'll be dead either today, tonight, or tomorrow. She's old -- she's over 15 years old, and has lost most of her weight, won't eat or drink, and is definitely close to her end. She was a great cat, definitely my cat -- I was her favorite person by far; she hated most everybody else, but liked me. My older son said "she needs some new stripey legs; we can get a doctor to get her new legs." He's such a sweetie, my little engineer.
Anyway, I cried last night, combed and petted her; I didn't want to take her off to a place, where she'd be surrounded by strange things and strangers. Instead, I put a soft towel and a water dish near one of our radiators, and carried her there to sleep, so she'd at least be comfortable and warm. I've never had a pet before, never had to deal with the death of one. Makes me sad -- seeing her be so feline-stoic, keeping a brave face on her sickness, was just heartbreaking to me. Would that we could all die with such grace.
Her brother, Newt, is still strong and in good health; he's got a few more years in him, by the look of him.
Anyway, it'll be soon. I'll try to take a good picture of her to post, once she dies.
My cat, Jinx, is dying. I think she'll be dead either today, tonight, or tomorrow. She's old -- she's over 15 years old, and has lost most of her weight, won't eat or drink, and is definitely close to her end. She was a great cat, definitely my cat -- I was her favorite person by far; she hated most everybody else, but liked me. My older son said "she needs some new stripey legs; we can get a doctor to get her new legs." He's such a sweetie, my little engineer.
Anyway, I cried last night, combed and petted her; I didn't want to take her off to a place, where she'd be surrounded by strange things and strangers. Instead, I put a soft towel and a water dish near one of our radiators, and carried her there to sleep, so she'd at least be comfortable and warm. I've never had a pet before, never had to deal with the death of one. Makes me sad -- seeing her be so feline-stoic, keeping a brave face on her sickness, was just heartbreaking to me. Would that we could all die with such grace.
Her brother, Newt, is still strong and in good health; he's got a few more years in him, by the look of him.
Anyway, it'll be soon. I'll try to take a good picture of her to post, once she dies.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Linda Harrison
She was "Nova" in "Planet of the Apes" and was Wonder Woman in a late 60s pilot that was never picked up. She's hot stuff...
Friday, February 02, 2007
Ads
I love this one. "What'd you call me?" -- the way the guy delivers that line is classic!
And this older one still makes me laugh, especially how the smacking sound keeps going past the actual film clip.
And this older one still makes me laugh, especially how the smacking sound keeps going past the actual film clip.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Layers
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Dave
Eye Color: Blue
Righty or Lefty: Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Aries
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Planes, Automatons
Your perfect pizza: Thin crust with mushrooms
Goal for future: Book deal
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts when you first wake up: "Gotta go exercise."
Your best physical feature: My height (6'3") or my hair (dark blonde)
Your bedtime: Usually 10:30 p.m.
Your fondest memory: Birth of my sons
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas, if I had to choose
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Uhh, I don't drink coffee, but I guess black coffee
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: Never
Take a shower: Daily
Think you've been in love: Definitely. Three times.
Believe in yourself: Kinda not.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yes.
Gone to the mall: Nope.
Been on stage: Yes.
Eaten Sushi: Yes.
Been dumped: No.
Been ice skating: Not since the 90s.
Dyed your hair: Nope.
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
Played a stripping game: Nope.
Gotten beaten up: Not beaten up; punched, yeah.
Changed who you were to fit in: Never.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD:
Age you're hoping to be married?: Have been since 1993!
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color: Doesn't matter; she just has to have pretty eyes.
Best hair color: Color doesn't matter; texture does -- she should have good hair.
LAYER TEN: where you were
1 MINUTE AGO: In front of computer.
1 HOUR AGO: In front of computer (writing)
1 DAY AGO: On the sofa.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I FEEL: Good!
I HATE: Nazis.
I HIDE: Nothing.
I MISS: My 20s.
I WANT: To write full-time!!
Name: Dave
Eye Color: Blue
Righty or Lefty: Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Aries
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Planes, Automatons
Your perfect pizza: Thin crust with mushrooms
Goal for future: Book deal
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts when you first wake up: "Gotta go exercise."
Your best physical feature: My height (6'3") or my hair (dark blonde)
Your bedtime: Usually 10:30 p.m.
Your fondest memory: Birth of my sons
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas, if I had to choose
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Uhh, I don't drink coffee, but I guess black coffee
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: Never
Take a shower: Daily
Think you've been in love: Definitely. Three times.
Believe in yourself: Kinda not.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yes.
Gone to the mall: Nope.
Been on stage: Yes.
Eaten Sushi: Yes.
Been dumped: No.
Been ice skating: Not since the 90s.
Dyed your hair: Nope.
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
Played a stripping game: Nope.
Gotten beaten up: Not beaten up; punched, yeah.
Changed who you were to fit in: Never.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD:
Age you're hoping to be married?: Have been since 1993!
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color: Doesn't matter; she just has to have pretty eyes.
Best hair color: Color doesn't matter; texture does -- she should have good hair.
LAYER TEN: where you were
1 MINUTE AGO: In front of computer.
1 HOUR AGO: In front of computer (writing)
1 DAY AGO: On the sofa.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I FEEL: Good!
I HATE: Nazis.
I HIDE: Nothing.
I MISS: My 20s.
I WANT: To write full-time!!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Harumph
I've been lax about the bloggage, lately. Whoopsie!
Hope the blog gods are a forgiving bunch!
Hope the blog gods are a forgiving bunch!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
10 Signs...
Boy, can I relate to this, jobwise...
Ten Ways to Know It's Time to Go
A Job-Change Checklist
By Caroline Levchuck
No matter how much you love your job, you may not love it all the time.
Folks with the most fulfilling of professions can still find themselves
battling a case of the "Sunday Night Blues." And, from time to time, we may
all feel a sense of disenchantment with our employer or our co-workers.
But how can you know when it's really time to go? Here's a hint: If more
than half of the following statements ring true for you, get your resume
ready and start connecting with new opportunities today.
1. You start to dread Monday as soon as you leave work on Friday.
[Check.]
2. It becomes more and more difficult to get up for work each day, and
tardiness becomes a way of life.
[Check, except reverse tardiness -- wanting to leave early]
3. You cannot muster enthusiasm for anything related to work -- other than
your paycheck.
[CHECK!]
4. You spend most of your time complaining to colleagues or about your
colleagues.
[Check!]
5. You act defensive and even hostile in company meetings when there's
little cause for it.
[Check, in terms of general not-wanting to be there.]
6. You interact less and less with co-workers, shutting yourself away in
your office and avoiding opportunities to socialize.
[Check!]
7. You've used up all your sick, personal, and vacation days -- and the year
isn't even half over.
[Hahah! -- not yet, although working on it.]
8. You're constantly putting off until tomorrow what you could (and should)
do today. When you do actually commit to doing your work, you feel
resentful.
[Not really.]
9. You're bitter about the company's success or that of a co-worker.
[Check!]
10. You have no professional goals related to your job, and you have a hard
time even making some up at your obligatory performance review.
[Hahah! "Obligatory performance review" -- Check! My goal is escape.]
Ten Ways to Know It's Time to Go
A Job-Change Checklist
By Caroline Levchuck
No matter how much you love your job, you may not love it all the time.
Folks with the most fulfilling of professions can still find themselves
battling a case of the "Sunday Night Blues." And, from time to time, we may
all feel a sense of disenchantment with our employer or our co-workers.
But how can you know when it's really time to go? Here's a hint: If more
than half of the following statements ring true for you, get your resume
ready and start connecting with new opportunities today.
1. You start to dread Monday as soon as you leave work on Friday.
[Check.]
2. It becomes more and more difficult to get up for work each day, and
tardiness becomes a way of life.
[Check, except reverse tardiness -- wanting to leave early]
3. You cannot muster enthusiasm for anything related to work -- other than
your paycheck.
[CHECK!]
4. You spend most of your time complaining to colleagues or about your
colleagues.
[Check!]
5. You act defensive and even hostile in company meetings when there's
little cause for it.
[Check, in terms of general not-wanting to be there.]
6. You interact less and less with co-workers, shutting yourself away in
your office and avoiding opportunities to socialize.
[Check!]
7. You've used up all your sick, personal, and vacation days -- and the year
isn't even half over.
[Hahah! -- not yet, although working on it.]
8. You're constantly putting off until tomorrow what you could (and should)
do today. When you do actually commit to doing your work, you feel
resentful.
[Not really.]
9. You're bitter about the company's success or that of a co-worker.
[Check!]
10. You have no professional goals related to your job, and you have a hard
time even making some up at your obligatory performance review.
[Hahah! "Obligatory performance review" -- Check! My goal is escape.]
ENFP
I'm definitely more ENFP than I was as a kid. Stuff that's definitely like me is italicized...
Description
ENFPs are initiators of change who are keenly perceptive of possibilities, and who energize and stimulate through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma.
Learning
ENFPs often learn best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others. They enjoy the search for new ideas and possibilities, and will put in the time necessary to master subjects they find interesting. One strength is their enthusiasm for the process of discovery. They enjoy survey courses, comparative studies, and disciplines in which there is much to research and explore. They do not like classes that are too structured, that consist only of lectures, and that allow no room for their imagination. They may get caught up in the learning process and consequently need strict deadlines to bring a project to completion.
ENFPs prefer a learning environment in which the teacher takes personal interest in them, in which there is an opportunity to talk about ideas with their peers, and in which there is a chance to ask questions and develop new ideas.
A motto that might describe the ENFP as a learner is "There's always another way or another answer."
Career
ENFPs often follow a nonlinear career track and nontraditional routes to obtaining knowledge, qualifications, and skills. When they are committed to what they do, they are enthusiastic to the point of preaching to the entire world about it. For an ENFP, work must be fun and must contribute to something larger than merely collecting a paycheck.
The preferred work setting for ENFPs contains imaginative people focused on human possibilities. ENFPs want a work environment that is both physically and mentally colorful. They prefer a participative and collegial atmosphere in which employees are included in the decision making. ENFPs are less productive where there is disharmony because they pay more attention to the relationships between people at work than they do to the tasks. Their ideal job would offer variety, novelty, challenge, and freedom from tight supervision; it would be idea oriented and imaginative, and would have lively, energetic people enjoying themselves and their tasks.
Most ENFPs will say they are organized, but others might not see them that way. Their desire to be open to the moment tends to outweigh their need to be organized. Usually ENFP work space is arranged haphazardly, with work materials and personal momentos scattered about. In terms of the management of time, ENFPs find it particularly difficult to estimate accurately how long an activity will take. Because people's needs are more important than schedules, ENFPs are often late and characteristically full of apologies for their tardiness.
ENFPs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupations with a service orientation. ENFPs usually find a place in their work life for creativity. They particularly enjoy people-oriented work in which they are able to combine things in new and different ways to benefit humanity. Flexibility and autonomy are important to ENFPs, who may bolt from organizations in which this is not attainable.
Common occupations picked by ENFPs include artist, clergy, consultant, counselor, entertainer, journalist, public relations worker, social scientist, social worker, teacher, and other occupations that allow ENFPs to use their creativity and insight.
Relationships
For ENFPs, loving is an almost constant state. They are generally involved or in love with someone or something new. ENFPs may have originated the quotation "All the world loves a lover." When falling in love, they explore all the new possibilities in the relationship, and the new person is studied in every way. The ENFP tends to idealize his or her current relationship and will often say that their current one is "the best ever."
It might be argued that each type, when first in love, resembles a garden-variety ENFP, because ENFPs normally behave like people in love. Some of the cultural cliches about falling in love - such as "Falling in love with love," "Head over heels in love," "Love is blind," "All the world loves a lover," and "Throw caution to the wind" - seem to apply to the ENFP. This same boundless affection can be showered upon friends, co-workers, and others. People often feel unconditionally loved by ENFPs, but over time many of these relationships dissipate, as in "When I'm not near the ones I love, I love the ones I'm near."
ENFPs are delightful, enthusiastic partners who are young in spirit; there is rarely a dull moment with them. They readily note their partner's best aspects. They may overlook obvious details and facts about their partners that might cause other types to be more cautious. As relationships progress, ENFPs romanticise their partners and make strong efforts to rationalize any discrepancy between the reality and their "ideal."
When they are in love, they may either overcommit and ignore any unpleasant yet true facts; or they may undercommit, believing that there may be a better love "just around the corner." Therefore, ENFPs may be seen as fickle in their relationships as they search for the "right one."
When and if the flaws in the relationship become too obvious to ENFPs, they may admit defeat, feeling great pain because they have put so much energy into perfecting a particular relationship. When ENFPs are scorned, they overgeneralize about their partners' worst faults. Because ENFPs thrive on new possibilities, when they fall out of love, they rebound quickly.
Totally me!
Description
ENFPs are initiators of change who are keenly perceptive of possibilities, and who energize and stimulate through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma.
Learning
ENFPs often learn best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others. They enjoy the search for new ideas and possibilities, and will put in the time necessary to master subjects they find interesting. One strength is their enthusiasm for the process of discovery. They enjoy survey courses, comparative studies, and disciplines in which there is much to research and explore. They do not like classes that are too structured, that consist only of lectures, and that allow no room for their imagination. They may get caught up in the learning process and consequently need strict deadlines to bring a project to completion.
ENFPs prefer a learning environment in which the teacher takes personal interest in them, in which there is an opportunity to talk about ideas with their peers, and in which there is a chance to ask questions and develop new ideas.
A motto that might describe the ENFP as a learner is "There's always another way or another answer."
Career
ENFPs often follow a nonlinear career track and nontraditional routes to obtaining knowledge, qualifications, and skills. When they are committed to what they do, they are enthusiastic to the point of preaching to the entire world about it. For an ENFP, work must be fun and must contribute to something larger than merely collecting a paycheck.
The preferred work setting for ENFPs contains imaginative people focused on human possibilities. ENFPs want a work environment that is both physically and mentally colorful. They prefer a participative and collegial atmosphere in which employees are included in the decision making. ENFPs are less productive where there is disharmony because they pay more attention to the relationships between people at work than they do to the tasks. Their ideal job would offer variety, novelty, challenge, and freedom from tight supervision; it would be idea oriented and imaginative, and would have lively, energetic people enjoying themselves and their tasks.
Most ENFPs will say they are organized, but others might not see them that way. Their desire to be open to the moment tends to outweigh their need to be organized. Usually ENFP work space is arranged haphazardly, with work materials and personal momentos scattered about. In terms of the management of time, ENFPs find it particularly difficult to estimate accurately how long an activity will take. Because people's needs are more important than schedules, ENFPs are often late and characteristically full of apologies for their tardiness.
ENFPs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupations with a service orientation. ENFPs usually find a place in their work life for creativity. They particularly enjoy people-oriented work in which they are able to combine things in new and different ways to benefit humanity. Flexibility and autonomy are important to ENFPs, who may bolt from organizations in which this is not attainable.
Common occupations picked by ENFPs include artist, clergy, consultant, counselor, entertainer, journalist, public relations worker, social scientist, social worker, teacher, and other occupations that allow ENFPs to use their creativity and insight.
Relationships
For ENFPs, loving is an almost constant state. They are generally involved or in love with someone or something new. ENFPs may have originated the quotation "All the world loves a lover." When falling in love, they explore all the new possibilities in the relationship, and the new person is studied in every way. The ENFP tends to idealize his or her current relationship and will often say that their current one is "the best ever."
It might be argued that each type, when first in love, resembles a garden-variety ENFP, because ENFPs normally behave like people in love. Some of the cultural cliches about falling in love - such as "Falling in love with love," "Head over heels in love," "Love is blind," "All the world loves a lover," and "Throw caution to the wind" - seem to apply to the ENFP. This same boundless affection can be showered upon friends, co-workers, and others. People often feel unconditionally loved by ENFPs, but over time many of these relationships dissipate, as in "When I'm not near the ones I love, I love the ones I'm near."
ENFPs are delightful, enthusiastic partners who are young in spirit; there is rarely a dull moment with them. They readily note their partner's best aspects. They may overlook obvious details and facts about their partners that might cause other types to be more cautious. As relationships progress, ENFPs romanticise their partners and make strong efforts to rationalize any discrepancy between the reality and their "ideal."
When they are in love, they may either overcommit and ignore any unpleasant yet true facts; or they may undercommit, believing that there may be a better love "just around the corner." Therefore, ENFPs may be seen as fickle in their relationships as they search for the "right one."
When and if the flaws in the relationship become too obvious to ENFPs, they may admit defeat, feeling great pain because they have put so much energy into perfecting a particular relationship. When ENFPs are scorned, they overgeneralize about their partners' worst faults. Because ENFPs thrive on new possibilities, when they fall out of love, they rebound quickly.
Totally me!
Two by Two
Two names you go by:
Daddy
Sike
Two parts of your heritage:
Irish
English
Two things that scare you:
Cancer
Heights
Two everyday essentials:
Food
Water
Two things you are wearing right now:
Wedding ring
Timex wristwatch
Two of your favorite current bands/artists:
Johnny Nobody
Hammerhead (they're not current, but they're my current favorites)
Two things you want in a relationship (other than love):
Honesty
Touching
Two truths:
Lies are always sweeter than truth.
I'm liberal, but I like guns.
Two favorite hobbies:
I don't really have any hobbies, strictly put. Collecting music, I suppose, could qualify, and studying/commenting on politics are things I do reflexively, so I guess they qualify.
Two things you have to do this week:
Get the muffler fixed on the car
Send out some more stories (this weekend)
Two stores you shop at:
Costco
Amazon
Two shows you like to watch:
Bad Girls Club
The Real World
Baseball (Go Cubs!)
Soccer
Two things you'd buy if money were no object:
A coffee/cacao plantation in Kona, Hawaii with a house and Ohana on it and ocean access (you'd all be welcome to visit; we could have BBQ on the beach)
1961 Ferrari 250 GT California
Two wishes for 2007:
Book deal
Newer, better job (which I'd then leave once I got a book deal)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
All better
Everybody's better. Whew. I hate nausea worse than anything. Worse than pain, even.
Adventure of Doom!
Courtesy of Line Rider, a cool computer drawing program. I can never make anything remotely as intricate as this with it.
Adventure of Doom!
Courtesy of Line Rider, a cool computer drawing program. I can never make anything remotely as intricate as this with it.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Bile Con Dios
Wow, everybody here has stomach flu. First my older son, then my wife and younger son, and then me (at midnight -- it'll be 24 hours of pukeage in like ten minutes. Oh, joy!) Lost five pounds from being dog-sick. The boys have both swiftly recovered, while the adults are laggard, of course. I've got nothing left in me but bile, so I think I should be done hurling, thanks a lot! Stupid viral gastroenteritis!
Oh, and I had made a bunch of dark-chocolate chip cookies yesterday, and had eaten several before the stomach flu kicked in, so I was literally tossing my cookies! Just what you wanted to know, right? Hahha!
Oh, and I had made a bunch of dark-chocolate chip cookies yesterday, and had eaten several before the stomach flu kicked in, so I was literally tossing my cookies! Just what you wanted to know, right? Hahha!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Yummy
My all-time favorite bakery from my hometown (Youngstown, OH): Butter Maid Bakery, now does business online! Yay, Internet! Their chocolate chip cookies, walnut cookies, and elephant ears were a family staple for us; admittedly, I haven't had anything from them since 1988, but the ownership is the same, so I'm hoping the recipes and the quality will still be there. Fingers crossed (I ordered some of their chocolate chip cookies).
Whoopsie
Karma caught up with me! I actually got sick yesterday, but I went to work anyway, not wanting to take another sick day so soon after last week.
Three-day weekend ahead, thanks to MLK Day on Monday. Woo hoo!
Three-day weekend ahead, thanks to MLK Day on Monday. Woo hoo!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Fill in the [Blank]
From Vesper, Queen of Memes...
1. I have never wanted to skydive; but I’ve always thought I might like to own a motorcycle.
2. When I was 5 years old, I believed in Santa Claus, but I got over it soon after my parents divorced.
3. If I was my own best friend, what I would enjoy the most about spending time with Me would be my love of life and sense of humor; while what I’d find the most irritating would be my tendency to brood when tired and periodic bouts of nihilistic angst.
4. If the story of my life up to this point was being published tomorrow, it would be titled Big Guy or else Dude (because that's what people usually call me) and it would be dedicated to everybody whom I love.
5. When my time on Earth is over, and the people who loved me are remembering me, it would please me if they said he wrote great stories; who knew that a writer who attained such huge, worldwide success could actually write so well and remain such a fun person? (I say that because everybody who knows me knows I'm loving, fun, and fun-loving, so I wanted to be remembered for the writing, in the vain hope that I'll succeed at it).
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I think...
...I'm going to play hookey tomorrow. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, so I think I'm not going to go.
*koff* <-- See? I'm sick.
This evening, I brought in a 40-lb. bag of cat litter and managed to snag it on the doorknob, rupturing the bag. Luckily, Wifey was there, so she could get a Hefty bag I could pour the litter into before it poured all over our floor. Close one!
*koff* <-- See? I'm sick.
This evening, I brought in a 40-lb. bag of cat litter and managed to snag it on the doorknob, rupturing the bag. Luckily, Wifey was there, so she could get a Hefty bag I could pour the litter into before it poured all over our floor. Close one!
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Prodigal Son of a Bitch
Reading Amy's post got me thinking, because I'm dealing with something similar, familywise. Sort of. More like a not-so-funhouse mirror version.
Back story: My folks divorced when I was five, once my mom found out that he'd been cheating on her. My father was a rotten dad. Perhaps not physically abusive (that I can remember, at least), but most definitely psychologically and emotionally abusive. All of my memories of him are laced with fear, sadness, upset, annoyance, anger, pain, terror -- I have no good memories of him.
Near as I can tell, the only good things I got from him were: 1) my brains, and 2) my height. My mom often said that she thought maybe he was jealous because she loved me more than she loved him, and he took it out on me. Wouldn't be surprised. All the time during visitation (once a month, I think, until I was 18), I would make sure to bring a pocketknife and some quarters for a payphone, and would keep my car door unlocked when he'd drive me wherever, because I was always afraid he'd kidnap me. Not like that was an actual risk, but I didn't want him to be my dad, to take me away from my happier family. I liked my stepfamily better.
After I was 18, I didn't actually see him again until I was 26, when he motorcycled to Chicago unannounced and showed up at my door. That's the last time I saw him in person. Beyond that, a periodic e-mail or whatever, a cursory sending of pictures of my sons so he can see them. I don't love the man, pure and simple. He was a bad dad, and I haven't forgotten anything he did in my childhood, and I know that I'm scarred from it. I still get along better with women than with men, and I know it's because of my dad.
So, anyway, my dad is old. He's in his early 70s, now. I'm not entirely sure how old he is, now. But his health is deteriorating. He's in his fifth marriage, and I have a couple of younger half-sisters from his fourth marriage (my mom was his second marriage). One of them wrote me and told me that he had to go to the emergency room.
Apparently he had serious blockage of his right carotid artery, and had to undergo surgery on Tuesday for it, where they were going to put a stent in there to deal with it. He experienced a bunch of mini strokes which have impaired his motor skills some, although he's as sharp as ever. He also has a growth on his pituitary gland that they're looking into. He has adult-onset diabetes and other cardiac troubles. It looks to me that he's going to die in the next few years, at the rate he's going.
Thus, I'm in a bit of a situation. Should I go to his funeral when it comes? I'm his oldest child, the only boy. Without his contribution, I'd not have been alive. But he was a terrible dad. Manipulative, guiltmongering, temperamental, abusive, hateful. A bad man, across the board -- I've based my own fatherhood successes on not being like him.
What is my duty to him? I say, without hesitation, that I do not love him. My stepdad was much more of a father to me than my real father was. When my real dad dies, whenever that is, I just don't think I'll feel anything, as terrible as that sounds.
If I went to his funeral, I don't even know if I could possibly say anything good about him! Whatever I would say would be complete bullshit, a total lie.
When one of my half-sisters told me about the recent operation, I thought I'd send him a get well card. I'm not going to call him. Too many ghosts. My wife thinks I should call him, talk to him, but the few times I've talked to him since I was 18, it's always been really awkward, entirely uncomfortable. He's a stranger to me, and I am to him. The man I've become isn't the man he was, thank God.
Anyway, I don't know. What does a child owe a shitty parent? As an adult? I won't forget, and I doubt I could forgive. I mean, when my folks divorced, it was like a cloud had lifted on my life. I wrestle with it now as we creep into the inexorable sunset of his life.
His legacy: I am really good with my sons, give them attention and love and show interest in them and their lives, and both of my boys love me so much. I basically do the opposite of what my dad did with me. But that legacy is in spite of my father, not because of him.
Back story: My folks divorced when I was five, once my mom found out that he'd been cheating on her. My father was a rotten dad. Perhaps not physically abusive (that I can remember, at least), but most definitely psychologically and emotionally abusive. All of my memories of him are laced with fear, sadness, upset, annoyance, anger, pain, terror -- I have no good memories of him.
Near as I can tell, the only good things I got from him were: 1) my brains, and 2) my height. My mom often said that she thought maybe he was jealous because she loved me more than she loved him, and he took it out on me. Wouldn't be surprised. All the time during visitation (once a month, I think, until I was 18), I would make sure to bring a pocketknife and some quarters for a payphone, and would keep my car door unlocked when he'd drive me wherever, because I was always afraid he'd kidnap me. Not like that was an actual risk, but I didn't want him to be my dad, to take me away from my happier family. I liked my stepfamily better.
After I was 18, I didn't actually see him again until I was 26, when he motorcycled to Chicago unannounced and showed up at my door. That's the last time I saw him in person. Beyond that, a periodic e-mail or whatever, a cursory sending of pictures of my sons so he can see them. I don't love the man, pure and simple. He was a bad dad, and I haven't forgotten anything he did in my childhood, and I know that I'm scarred from it. I still get along better with women than with men, and I know it's because of my dad.
So, anyway, my dad is old. He's in his early 70s, now. I'm not entirely sure how old he is, now. But his health is deteriorating. He's in his fifth marriage, and I have a couple of younger half-sisters from his fourth marriage (my mom was his second marriage). One of them wrote me and told me that he had to go to the emergency room.
Apparently he had serious blockage of his right carotid artery, and had to undergo surgery on Tuesday for it, where they were going to put a stent in there to deal with it. He experienced a bunch of mini strokes which have impaired his motor skills some, although he's as sharp as ever. He also has a growth on his pituitary gland that they're looking into. He has adult-onset diabetes and other cardiac troubles. It looks to me that he's going to die in the next few years, at the rate he's going.
Thus, I'm in a bit of a situation. Should I go to his funeral when it comes? I'm his oldest child, the only boy. Without his contribution, I'd not have been alive. But he was a terrible dad. Manipulative, guiltmongering, temperamental, abusive, hateful. A bad man, across the board -- I've based my own fatherhood successes on not being like him.
What is my duty to him? I say, without hesitation, that I do not love him. My stepdad was much more of a father to me than my real father was. When my real dad dies, whenever that is, I just don't think I'll feel anything, as terrible as that sounds.
If I went to his funeral, I don't even know if I could possibly say anything good about him! Whatever I would say would be complete bullshit, a total lie.
When one of my half-sisters told me about the recent operation, I thought I'd send him a get well card. I'm not going to call him. Too many ghosts. My wife thinks I should call him, talk to him, but the few times I've talked to him since I was 18, it's always been really awkward, entirely uncomfortable. He's a stranger to me, and I am to him. The man I've become isn't the man he was, thank God.
Anyway, I don't know. What does a child owe a shitty parent? As an adult? I won't forget, and I doubt I could forgive. I mean, when my folks divorced, it was like a cloud had lifted on my life. I wrestle with it now as we creep into the inexorable sunset of his life.
His legacy: I am really good with my sons, give them attention and love and show interest in them and their lives, and both of my boys love me so much. I basically do the opposite of what my dad did with me. But that legacy is in spite of my father, not because of him.
Maybe, baby
I really got my resumé all sparkly over Xmas and New Year's, and am sending it out to various employers, hoping I get some nibbles. Right now, I'm looking for anything writing- and editing-related that'll pay in the mid-$60s. I'm not greedy, but as the sole breadwinner of the house with a five-year-old and a one-year-old and a wife (who's going back to school, which I'm paying for) and an apartment in one of Chicago's best neighborhoods, I've got to keep my eye on the bottom line, wagewise. That makes it hard to find the right work, especially given how employers have been coy about posting pay levels, trying to give themselves the most freedom to lowball would-be hires. Jerks.
Long-term, my aspirations are entirely outside the 925 Grind, of course. But for now, I'm stuck playing the game. I remember as a 20-something, planning for early retirement by the time I was 35. Now I'm almost 37 (come April 16). Whoopsie. Guess I'm behind schedule.
I remember my barometer used to be that Orson Welles did "Citizen Kane" when he was 25, so I was like "Okay, I need to get going on XYZ." 25 came and went, and I spun my wheels. I enjoyed my 20s, but wasn't very disciplined.
I didn't get disciplined until my first son was born, in 2002. That's when clarity intruded on me, like reality: "I could keep going this way forever. I need to get serious about what I want to do with this life."
That's when I really seriously began to write, like 100,000+ words a year. In 2005, I began sending stories out. Nothing's clicked, yet, unfortunately. Even the one acceptance I got last year is delayed because they're having issues with their printer, and my story won't see light until late this year. Frustrating.
Music: Superdrag, "I Guess It's American"
Long-term, my aspirations are entirely outside the 925 Grind, of course. But for now, I'm stuck playing the game. I remember as a 20-something, planning for early retirement by the time I was 35. Now I'm almost 37 (come April 16). Whoopsie. Guess I'm behind schedule.
I remember my barometer used to be that Orson Welles did "Citizen Kane" when he was 25, so I was like "Okay, I need to get going on XYZ." 25 came and went, and I spun my wheels. I enjoyed my 20s, but wasn't very disciplined.
I didn't get disciplined until my first son was born, in 2002. That's when clarity intruded on me, like reality: "I could keep going this way forever. I need to get serious about what I want to do with this life."
That's when I really seriously began to write, like 100,000+ words a year. In 2005, I began sending stories out. Nothing's clicked, yet, unfortunately. Even the one acceptance I got last year is delayed because they're having issues with their printer, and my story won't see light until late this year. Frustrating.
Music: Superdrag, "I Guess It's American"
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
D-pressed
I'm depressed today. I turn 37 in April. That kinda sucks. It used to be that I'd look forward to the new year, but now, they get just a smidgen grimmer for me, in a way. Despair has kind of crept into my bones, irritatingly enough. My 20s are so remote from me, and my 30s are nearly over, and I feel like I've barely noticed them (part of that is because 2002 and 2005 were newborn baby years, which are basically lost years, in terms of time and awareness).
Today is my older boy's fifth birthday. I'm kinda amazed at that. He's growing up so fast. Time just sprints by.
It's hard to stay young at heart when you're not young anymore!
Today is my older boy's fifth birthday. I'm kinda amazed at that. He's growing up so fast. Time just sprints by.
It's hard to stay young at heart when you're not young anymore!
Monday, January 01, 2007
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