Oh, I heard that they're making a TV movie miniseries/drama about bird flu. That seems so astoundingly lame, it almost defies commentary. It's kind of hard to make flu, even deadly bird flu, good dramatic fodder. Stephen King did it well in the first half of The Stand, but I highly doubt they'll be able to pull it off on network TV. I can see it now...
CUT TO FLOCKS OF CANADA GEESE. SCIENTIST HOFFMAN AND SHERRIF KRISTOFFERSEN ARE WATCHING.
Dustin Hoffman (looking with binoculars): Definitely looks like they're coming, yeah.
Kris Kristoffersen: We'd better shoot them.
Dustin Hoffman: We can't shoot all the geese.
CUT TO GEESE LANDING IN POND. CHILDREN PLAYING BY THE POND. WILFORD BRIMLEY SITS ON A BENCH, WHILE TIMMY PLAYS WITH A TOY SAILBOAT
Brimley (talking to TIMMY, his grandson): Now, you don't sail into the wind, Timmy.
Timmy: Sorry, Grandpa. (coughs)
Brimley: (coughing) Lotta goddamned geese on the pond today, huh?
Timmy: I love you, Grandpa (sneezes).
EVERYBODY FALLS DOWN DEAD
CUT TO BILL PULLMAN, AS PRESIDENT
Pullman (grimacing): We've got no vaccine? Not even for me? I'm the President, dammit.
Holly Hunter: Budget cuts, sir. You authorized'em.
Pullman: We're talking about 25 million people, here. Dead.
I don't know who is going to be in it, of course; but I couldn't resist an Outbreak-related jab at Hoffman.
Whatever they do, I imagine it'll suck majorly.
No comments:
Post a Comment